There are many hells. Often, (if not most of them) it is a place of high temperatures(i presume 2000deg cel), of association with the core of Earth, (molten lava, fiery orange palace and/or torture chamber of some sorts).

My opinion is much different, or at least, one of my opinions.

Hell is a palace, a palace of opulance on the grandest scales.
Nymphos and all sorts of "heavenly"(ironic..) pleasures exist there.
In there, souls of the damned suffer all sorts of torture.
For what is more ironic than to suffer damnation in the place of greatest luxury?
Also, mortal pleasures are presented in the eyes(if they have eyes) of the damned, but never to attain it, obsess it or even experience in any part of their remaining life(if any).

Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: wind trapped in my ears, like the aurora

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Well...cant really say its not accurate, for at least this once, i gues.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: the expense of rolling clouds

Passed by an apartment today, and overheard something which sounds like "Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter 'N' and number '8'".
Very interesting, i thought, wondering if they have ever paid any attention to symbolism.

Hearing 'N', it reminds me of Nihilism and Narcism, both very important ideas.

Both of them, are very conflicting, i think, and much of what today's world made of is this two words.

Narcism is the love of oneself. A narcist will not hesistate to step over others, even loved ones, should there be a need to gain a greater advantage. It is very hard to tell a narcist from normal people now, as it is heavily reinforced by today's world. In fact i think many people are on the path to be a narcist.

Narcistic sayings include, "Protect your own backside (before others)", "I belong to me", "Help others so i can help myself more" and many other
sayings. In many cases, narcists' best friends are an animal. An animal called the Scapegoat.

Narcists may or may not believe the saying of "The world spins around me". For example Hitler with his Nazism, where the whole rulership is about
the gain of a single person. Hitler. In any case, wether narcists believe this or not, their common goal is to make the world spin around them (even
more).

It is clear that Narcists often stick to their clique. They would not willingly let anyone in unless they themselves gain a certain advantage. Narcists are
the unmaking of today's world. They will go to great means to achieve their goals, everything except of sacrificing personal gains (permanent ones).


On the other hand Nilihism is much more open. I think that most religions have a certani level of Nihilism involved.

In the Bible, it has been mentioned countless times that the path to God is to be a child, devoid of material possessions and contaminated
perspectives.

Taoism states that "Everyhing is nothingness", and that problems are illusionary, that you think that there is a problem that you could not see a
solution. It is your perspective that is tainted that you cannot see the path. Give it all up to have everything.

Chang, a simple craftsman from the era of Kangxi, also believes in Taoism. He believes power is but a burden to one that understands the meaning
of power and the usage of it. Narcists do not use power, they abuse it, and oft lose it quickly. The one who knows how to use power will find it a burden.

Rene Descartes says "The body is but a medium in which your mind interacts with" Through which without the mind, there is nothing. Although his
ideas are very contraversial, he means to say that or body is a tool on which our minds exist, and thought, which comes from the emptiness, is simple.

Nihilisms points towards simplicity, whilst being a very deep idea. Narcism points towards complexity, schemes and self-gain, direct and superficial.

To me, Nihilism is peace, and Narcism is war.

The simplest of children are those with mental retardation. What we fail to see is that they are the gentlest of souls. Unless being provoked into a fanatical rage, they maintain peaceful and simple demeanours. In this case, they are the Nihilism. The provocation is the complication. When Nihilism is being complicated, automatically it turns into Narcism. Simply put, Nihilism is a very fragile thing, easily overcome by war and perspective, outside behaviour.

-to be continued

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: of greyness of buildings and grey matter

Watched Fireworks, or Hana-bi today, with Julius, Kamui(http://jietao.livejournal.com/) and my brother Lucian at Singapore Museum @ Dhoby Ghaut.

I've been wondering very much after Julius mentioned the 5 was heavily emphasized in the show, perhaps the number of people he killed, or the 5 distinct places he visited, or even the 5 important events in the show?

In any case, due to the complexity of the show, thus with high difficulty, i will pen..i mean type down my thoughts.

Brief summary
Filmed in 1997, the show is focused on detective Nishi, high in debts (due to having a sick wife), borrowed from a loan-shark yakuza. He eventually robbed a bank to totally pay off his debt. (He wasn't caught and the realism about the robbery is highly subjective) He left on a holiday with his wife. The yakuza, wanting to drain more money of him, harrassed him and eventually he killed the yakuza and got caught by his comrades. He commited suicide with his wife who is already dying to leukemia.

Obviously there are other elements in the show, but the following is my opinion as of now.

5 is a significant number. At the completion of the number "5" puzzle in the show, it means something has been realised, or come to an end. A simple research on numerology of the number 5 shows :-


As a life path number, five signifies love of freedom and adventure. As an expression number it suggests growth through change and different experiences. Five is a number which represents service to others. It is highly analytical and has the ability to think critically, but can over-ponder an issue to the point that its significance is no longer relevant. This number governs our ability to think clearly and our intellectual capacity. Five represents openness to new experiences as well as new ideas. Seeking freedom, it is often the adventurer. Five is about pushing life to its limits. It is a multifaceted number with links to our state of physical and mental health.
-quoted from http://www.new-age-spirituality.com/philos/numbers.html

In the show, when the "5" puzzle is completed, it appears that Nishi had reached a sort of nirvana, where in this case that he has already over-lived life, to the point that his existance is already justified and he is no longer relevant to the society's structure or system.

I believe Kitano based the show around this idea.

In this show Nishi and Horibe's roles were critically reversed in a way.

-------------------Start------------------------------End-------------------------
Nishi-------Alone due to dying wife----------with his wife, in company
------------no tendencies of suicide----------------suicided----------------
----------------barely living-------------------------died------------------------



Horibe-----have a family, in company-------------alone. painter
---------------tendency to suicide-----------------didnt suicide--------
---------------------content----------------------barely living-------------------

Reversal of roles between two close friends.

The violence of the show is rather shocking. Yet underneathe all the violence lies a wreck of a man, barely able to live his life. Ironically the time he starts to kill is the time when he is on better terms with his life and has a firmer grip on self. Is this his way of releasing his hatred on the injustices of life..? What a way to go.

Also, in the show, the paintings were highly irritating. However, one of the painting shows words being written to form a bigger picture. Very interesting concept on drawing... in a way artistic.


The show is a very depressing sort.. i wonder what good it will do for me. In any case it got me thinking about changing the possibilities of life..

There is an unspoken magic about this film. Happens so that i realise my opinions are being shaped directly by the movie itself, not by myself. Occurs to me that basically almost everyone who saw this movie will have roughly the same type of opinion - or rather, first impression. Few will further think on the subject, much less on a deeper level.

Kitano's films are an acquired taste, rarely would "anyone else" remember it, and think of it. Based on a realistic level, and having few important events to the untrained eye, or mind, makes this show a passing wind for many.

Yes this film is much better than i thought it will be, shaping the weird humour that i have acquired during the film..(i still wonder about that) and yes it will be on my mind for awhile at the very least.

Saw Ergo Proxy today. Very interesting.

>Based alot on Rene Descarte's "Cogito ergo sum" ( translated"I think, therefore i am" );
with split personalities which made it a very high complexity storyline. Doesn't it
strike you? Cogito ERGO sum, yes, it actually is a word. Go figure.
In any case, the weird link with creator is really stupid. Yet proxy, representations
of a certain being, is interesting enough. Much effort has been made to refer to Greek
Philosophies but i reckon that 98% anime viewers are either too lazy, refuse to accept,
too stupid to understand, "dont want to think so much" but actually dono wtf is going on,
or just acting to know what is going on.
Oh i just want to admit that i only know some of what is going on, going to re-view the
entire anime.

Also consists of a very interesting Creator-Creation relationship, somewhat like the
Bible's, except that it is a rather interesting interpretation.

Anyways, seeing this has inspired me so much that i came up with 2 ideas for storylines.

ONE

>Year 2040.
>>Man has advanced scientifically so much that they fully realise the potential of
adaptability of man. Knowing this, scientists began experimenting heavily with the
human brain. In newborn babies, they destroyed the left or right hemisphere of the
brain, making them fully left or right brained. Thus the man was divided into three
categories. The left, the right and the hybrid. Right brained tends to be extremely
creative, although their creations rarely, if ever, could be put into practical use.
Left brained are robotlike, prefering to have a routinal lifestyle, but having a high
level of precision and often are perfectionists.

One left brained philosopher, (name) said, "The left and right side of the brain
consists of different souls. In a hybrid, the souls are often at conflict and tend
to compromise, as the natural law orders it to. However, humans are not a natural
being. In fact, humans are in direct conflict with nature, choosing to consume its
resource, obliterate other beings, in the name of the Brain and intellect,
intelligence, for he shall rule over the earth. This is the ambition of man, to
dominate.

This led to a rift between the Hybrids and The Left. The Right did not make much of
this conflict, prefering to avoid and compromise to others, stayed on the fence..

Hence war begun.. not knowing, mother nature a sentient condition is actually the
"random factor" at play..

TWO
>Fuck!
>>I've forgotten whilst writing ONE. Maybe i'll remember tomorrow.

Current Location: In deep thought
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: Cats meowing downstairs

Well another day passed. I wont be ranting anymore about Ebay dragons or not..both i win..but hell. Stop.

Anyways, there was this guy that had white hair, really white.. snowy. Really nice looking but he looked kinda old and mystical. Saw him in bugis.

And there was this old man in AMK i saw sometimes. He came straight out of Chinese Wu Xia stories, very long beard, wise looking and like beggar sect chairman -_-. Kinda weird but very amusing, i wonder if he really acts in them ..(?) Or would a talent scout in Singapore even have the eye to see talents MAYBE yes(?)

Gah. Life is but a dream, so what are the things we are having, dream in dreams? That means sometimes i got a dream in a dream in a dream in a dream. Freaking complicated, my head hurts but yet i still do think about it.

Of fatigue,
Of quiet bleeds,
Of sleepless nights,
Of death-defying rides,

Yes im very much into gaming, some people consider me a pro gamer cause i had been sponsored several times in different games and clans...

Anyways, what im thinking about now is that sometimes i game so much so that it becomes a sort of reality...

There are times when im not concerntrating, alot of times. At these times i get irritated; for example, i wake up and have to go to school. I think about using a town portal scroll left click target school. WTF.

Yeah these are what i covert.

- Town portal scroll: can teleport to target structure.

- A Helen's Dagger of Escape so i could easily blink up/down a building/distance.

- An Orb of Eclipse so no one would cast spell on me.

- A fog form spell so i would not deal or receive any damage

- Antisleep potion so that i can have permanent insomnia


Well if only i have all the above listed... i guess i need to be immune to the MAGICAL effects of sleep first before i could figure out how to farm for the other items...

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Garnet Crow

Played gunbound awhile back, been thinking of things.

Recently played gunbound with Kamui, we started again (played back in the past to gold battle axe rank 2-3yrs back) now hammers..in free zone.

This is what i noticed.

2 of us created a room, so like, yeah in free channel you see all sorts of rank coming in. Seeing 2 hammers, most high ranks will say "hi" whilst some people will say "are u guys newbies?" to which, i will reply hi or yes.

Some people, seeing that we are newbies, will leave... thinking better than to pwn* noobs. But then, it happens so that those people (actually only 1 person) have ranks like axe (intermediate). Most people, espacially wand rank and dragon rank (very very experienced players supposedly) will stay. Some will even say "hi", den i'll reply "hi" and to which he says "im a noob too >_<" seeing his rank i was thinking okaaaaaaaaaaaay.

I wonder if they had bought accounts because we won almost all of the rounds with high ranks (34wins 2lost)

Summarizing all of the above, simply put this is the result.

Those people are people who think you are noobs, easy to trash and want to trash noob.

Coming into the room, they are people who want to beat noobs for easy game cash, but end up kena pwn by noobs and leave 1/2way (yes most high ranking refuse to get killed), some even use duals (power items that gives a sort of drawback delay) on first turn, miss and leave the room.

What a paradox... as of life.

With reference to my previous post, ranks in this games are like Appointments isnt it? Paper qualifications are what people look at, or ranks in Government sector...military sectors.. it just means that they have stick stubbornly at that field over a long time, perhaps.

Hell it was fun playing and winning dragons :D what a day

Many things amuse me i guess. Which is not necessary a good thing...

Glossary:
pwn = own, in gaming context means trash or defeat.

Current Mood: amused

05 Oct, 2006 12:18PM

Protocols...? Appointments..?

Current society is defined by protocols. A person's appointment seems to define himself as respectable, or worthless. In that, i can derive certain...conclusions*.

Many people think that to reach a certain appointment, especially a respectable one, it means that the person is in some way powerful, capable, persuasive, has leadership quality, is a good planner.. etc. Yet it is only the appointment that is respected. A rose of any other name smells the same. In the same way the person holding onto the appointment, one could not but say that he is only acting in the shoes of the appointment..?

In a society with so many appointments, isnt it true that everyone is acting? Yet we all know that it is only a facade that binds us together. In truth, many wars and conflicts will be started. Yes, we all live in a world of standard protocols and etiquettes, where we adhere to the rather stupid saying of "Life's Like That", where one have almost no control or no control or thinks he/she has no control over his life. As Rene Descartes put it, you are what you think. By pretending over a prolonged period...our personality will in some way create an excuse, or a reason, depending on how you look at it, for us to assure ourself and we will compromise ourselves to assimilate with the qualities of our Appointment, be it having external factors or not..

By saying that, i wonder if we really remember who we really are, they say people change, but if they always change to others expectations, live by protocols, etiquttes, trends and tradition, can i not say that they really are just a simple mathematical formula of a shadow of a person? That sounds very little doesnt it..? It really is very little of yourself.

Maybe i think too much